


You're not Ugly

by TheVulgarSpecialist



Category: DCU (Comics), Doom Patrol (Comics), Doom Patrol (TV)
Genre: Angst, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Falling In Love, Help, Kissing, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Non-Consensual Kissing, Regret, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-29 15:28:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20798870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheVulgarSpecialist/pseuds/TheVulgarSpecialist
Summary: Jane explodes at Cliff and Rita convinces him to go talk to her.





	You're not Ugly

"The fuck?"

"Language Cliff."

"So let me get this straight. Even though she called me a 'fucking monster's and pushed me out of her room. You're asking me to go and talk to her?"

Rita nodded. "Yes Cliff, I'm asking you. Because you are the only person she'll really talk to. Besides the chief and you know… He isn't here."

He stood up from his desk. "Fuck it, not like she can hurt me." Cliff began to clank out of the room.

"Thank you." Rita called after him, but he didn't hear her. She looked at his room around her, his model Town and cars all set up and the computer screen on his desk glowing. She suddenly found it very strange, the thought of a human machine using a machine. What did he use it for anyway?

She couldn't help it, she peaked at the computer. FaceHole was open to a page for Clara Steele and Rita at once understood why he'd been keeping to himself all day. Now she felt bad for even asking him to go into the Lions den.

***

"All men are the same-that stupid fucking-everything is so pretty-I am not here-tear him apart-you won't touch him-do touch him-don't touch me-Please touch me-get out of my head! Get out of me!" Jane screamed and beat her head with balled up fists.

"Why don't you kill yourself then, cause the only way we go away, is if you die-Shut up Hammerhead-You kbow it's true though, his would you do it?-Stop it, you aren't helping-Neither are you-fuck you."

Three sharp knocks on the door, metal on metal. "Tell him to fuck off-No." Jane drew her knees to her chest and noticing her phone screen was still lit up, she shut it off and sat it down quickly. "Come in."

He peaked his head in and walked in, closing the door behind him. He looked like he was scared of her.

"What do you need?"

"Nothing… I uh, heard you yelling so I thought I'd check on you, make sure you weren't hurt."

"Why would you care if I was?" She picked at a loose bit of fabric on her leggings, surprised at how well she was keeping control.

"Because I care about you."

"You shouldn't, the way I treated you earlier. I'd kill you if you treated me like that."

"I know you would, but that earlier, that was Hammerhead."

Jane shook her head. "No, it was me. But I didn't mean it." She hadn't realized until now that she was crying.  
Cliff walked over to the bed and sat in front of her. "You weren't completely wrong, some of the things I've done, even before I became this over sized, ugly fucking pop can."

"You aren't."

Cliff tilted his head, read glowing eyes peering at her. "What part of that am I not?"

"Ugly, you aren't ugly. Ugliness is determined by what kind of person you are, not what you look like. The Chief told me that."

"I'm sorry Jane, I know I can't help as much as he did."  
"You're better than him, at least you aren't just testing me, or filming me when I'm not myself. Why does every father figure in my life fuck me over?-Would you like to fuck her over? Maybe you'd feel more like a man if you did-I'll rip his guts out-I want you to leave, make him leave, he's ugly!-Fuck you-fuck me!"  
Suddenly she grabbed him by a totally blank sheet of metal under his pants.

He looked down at her hand and then up at her. "What the fuck? I can't feel that you know."

"You can't, but I can." She pulled at his jacket and had it off before he could stop her.

"Stop that! Who are you?"

"Scarlet. We met before, at the team meeting. And you are the biggest man I've ever seen." She put her hand on his chest.

"I'm not a man."

She got onto his lap, straddling his hips. "Cut that out fuck girl, whoever you are." She pressed her lips to the two metal plates that were his lips. "See, not very fulfilling is it?" She didn't seem to hear him. "Hey, I was talking to you."

Her eyes rolled into the back of her head as she began to grind on him, a pornographic moan escaping her lips. She leaned her face against his chest.

"Oh God, you're kidding me. Party's over." But just as he was about to throw her off, he saw a change in her face. "Jane?"

"What just happened? Who were you with?"

Cliff was more afraid now that she would be mad at him, thinking that he was the one who did this. "She said her name was Scarlet, she was being a real fucking whore."

"What did she do to you?"

He was now surprised that she was only concerned for him. "She just took my jacket off and kissed me, that was about it. I didn't want to throw her off, but I also didn't want her doing anything with your body that you don't want to do."

"I'm sorry Cliff. About the kiss especially."

A low laugh came from Cliff, his voice sounded like it was bellowed into an empty can. "It's been a long time since somebody kissed me. I'd be lying if I said I minded, I just wish it had been…"

Her dark eyes blinked up at him. "What?"

He shook his head. "Nothing, I don't want to say something stupid. I seem to do that a lot with you, and I'm sick of fucking shit up, so I'm gonna stop talking."  
Jane shook her head and took a large metal hand up to examine it. "So how about two in one day?"

If Cliff could have looked confused, now would be the time. "Two of what?"

Jane pressed his hand to the side of her face, feeling the cool material. "Kisses, one for the fucking whore, and one for yourself."

He cupped her face in his hand, being careful not to be forceful. "I don't have lips Jane, I couldn't kiss you if I wanted to."

"Do you want to?"

He was sent for a moment, he moved his hand down to rest on the bed. "Of course I want to."

She sat up and slinked a hand around his shoulder and one on the back of his head, pressing her lips to his, they were cold and hard. But it was still the best kiss she'd ever had. "I'm sorry for what I called you earlier." She said as she got off his lap, wiping tears from her face.

"I forgave you before you even said it."

Jane shook her head and yawned. "I don't deserve you Cliff."

"Of course you do, the shit you've been through." He paused. "You seem tired, do you want me to leave you alone?"

She finished yawning. "I don't really want to be alone, besides I'm not that tired. We've only talked about me. How's your day been?"

He laughed. "Well, depending on your sense of humor… actually no, you know what, it just fucking sucks!" He put his head in his hands. "I mean, I know I'm a piece of shit, but do I honestly deserve this?"  
"You're not a piece of shit Cliff."

He shook his head. "You didn't know the old me, you'd hate me if you did."

"Try me."

Cliff looked over at her. "How about I fuvked everybody I met. Did I mention I was married? I even missed some real important moments in my daughter's life. Can you guess what I was doing? Fucking more people. When times were hard, fuck people. Happy times, fuck people. Even when I wasn't fucking someone, I was fucking them over." He shook his head. "She deserved better, my wife deserved better. And even when I drove that car, the big Indy 500, I still only thought of myself. When that car squealed and flipped over in flames. That was the only moment I wondered about somebody else's feelings. You want to know what I thought?" He didn't give her time to answer. "I thought: What the fuck is Clara gonna do when she finds out the only poor excuse she had for a dad is dead? Who's gonna cut her peanut butter and jelly sandwich into little pieces? And then who's gonna cut off the crust, cause she hates crust. Who's gonna teach her to ride a bike? Scare the shit out of anybody who gets involved with her. And who's gonna walk her down the isle when it's time to let go? Not me. You did it Clifford, you fucking died before you even had a chance to change. And you know what? I should have stayed dead."

Jane sat up straight. "Cliff."

"What? Did it work? Do you hate me?"

She shook her head, she had tears in her eyes. "No Cliff, I don't hate you. And even if you aren't, I'm happy you didn't stay dead."

Cliff turned to her. "Really?"

"Without you if have nobody. We're not that different you know, I've done bad things. We all do bad shit, it's just about what we do to change afterwards. And I'd say you turned things around. For the better."

Cliff laughed. "Yeah, cause now I can't fuck anybody. Ever. Again."

Jane laughed. "You're such a dumbass."

He rested his hands on his knees. "Yeah, no shit."

"No, you don't get it Cliff. You did change, it's not just losing your dick that changed you. You just spilled your guts out to me, would the old you have done that?" He sat there, he didn't answer. "No, I don't think you would have."

A knock on the door rung through the room. "Jane?" The voice was Rita.

They exchanged looks. "Yes, what do you need?"  
"I wanted to know if you want to come down and get some lunch. You haven't been down all day."

Jane looked over at Cliff. "Yeah, I'll be down in a minute." She stood and put her hand up. "Wait a couple minutes before you come down, I don't want them to know you were on here."

Cliff nodded. "Okay, yeah."

She smiled. "Thank you Cliff, for talking to me."  
"Anytime." He watched her leave the room and he looked around him. On her bed he could see her phone screen lit up, she was getting a call.

He picked it up, but he couldn't answer. The screen couldn't register his fingers. The call ended and all he saw on her screen was she looked up… Pictures of him. Alive. "Why the fuck would she search what I looked like?"

He saw photos of him in his racing uniform, him in a suit. He dropped the phone and stood. "What the fuck?" He wondered if he should talk to her about it. No, then she'd know he looked at her phone. He shook his head and left the room. Some things were best left unasked.

FIN


End file.
